One of the topics that I’ve tried to avoid writing about because it is impossible to do so is how to stop missing someone. Helping individuals escape misery, sorrow, self-sabotage, and ingrained patterns is all I want to do. So how could I make the kind of sorrow and longing that robs you of your happiness, consciousness, ideas, and heart into something as simple as a light switch?

How could I heal a deep wound that permits your darkest fears to spill out of a cupboard you thought you had bolted shut with words?

Up until I found myself in the heart of a fire that was bigger than before, I didn’t think I could compete with that type of wildfire.

How To Stop Missing Someone You Love

People ask, “How do I stop missing them every day? I’ll take any action. All I want is for this misery to end. Even though I’m worn out, I can’t let go. HELP.”

Having been there

I understand; I feel both your grief and your pain right now. It doesn’t matter that my current suffering has nothing to do with romance. Pain is pain. This is something that we ALL experience; it is not a contest. And since it is OURS, every last bit of it is legitimate.

Every morning since our separation, I wake up feeling like drowning. Even while I have happy moments, the anguish of missing him appears to have a radar that snuffs out any attempt at forwarding motion. Although losing a loved one is painful, there is at least some solace in the fact that it is inevitable. Accepting finality is very painful and challenging, but you can rely on the knowledge that it will never change and, as a result, proceed gradually and naturally.

I firmly believe that breakups might be more challenging to handle than death.

Resurrection is always possible after death via separation. It’s strange. A year later, you can be entirely moved on and enjoying yourself over dinner when you suddenly receive a “happy birthday! ” text.

         They suddenly emerged from the graveyard of relationships.

Finding a solution to stop missing someone is difficult.

But that’s the thing about pain. Not only does it not bias, but once it has entered, damaging levels of MISSING, self-loathing, fear, and rage will become stronger the longer you fuel them.

I was unaware as I dug more and deeper into the self-blame that every time I thought of him, I would have to gaze up higher and higher. This inverted pedestal increased my sense of helplessness and made me utterly ignorant of his flaws.

I forgot there were two individuals in the relationship with their problems and faults because because I was so preoccupied with punishing myself and trying to relive my pain and confirm that I was indeed forgettable, discardable, and useless.

I had no choice but to watch (through my social media account) how much better his life was without me. How could he be so joyful and not miss me? How was it possible for him to disregard all we shared?

Here’s how to stop missing someone when you feel like you’ve already died emotionally because of your heartbreak.

Rule #1 of HOW TO STOP MISSING SOMEONE: Recognize the common point.

It’s typical to miss someone you love, but when it starts to damage your emotional health and survival, the common factor is always a failure to accept through avoidance.

We act in avoid because it gives us a legal excuse to not pay attention to ourselves and obstruct our recovery as long as we can postpone acceptance (and keep fighting reality).

We feel flawed and hold ourselves accountable because we are unable to mend.

There is a 100% possibility that you will miss the one person who put up with all of your flaws if you spend the entire day thinking about how terrible you are.

You’ve now adopted a mindset more grounded in the fantasy of your concerns than the unpleasant truth you’re trying to avoid. To ACCEPT, you must develop a positive relationship with reality to be able to feel your emotions and recover despite your sadness.

Rule #2 of HOW TO STOP MISSING SOMEONE is to stop escaping.

I used the treadmill every day to run before I started practising yoga. I would run until I was drenched in sweat and gasping for air. It’s ironic since, looking back, I ultimately used jogging as a type of escapism.

I ran until I was so exhausted that I could not think or breathe. I learned through yoga that the key to finding the solution is to keep your breath, not let it go.

Yoga forced me to look in the mirror and showed me that I was more of an emotional runner than I had ever been a physical one. I occasionally cry during a yoga flow because of this. I’m not running anymore, either physically or mentally.

Consider your jogging speed when figuring out how to stop missing someone. I continue to experience anguish, longing, missing, and heartbreak today. The sole distinction is that I share my emotions without regard to my value. I don’t hide from my feelings any longer, devaluing myself in the process.

I used to behave like a dog that buries the bone and takes off. Because I didn’t know how to live alone and be confident in myself without needing to be “good enough” for anyone, I would bury my unresolved pain and physically run into the next poisonous relationship.

I persuaded myself that if I just met someone who could “make me happy,” the bones would either miraculously vanish or I would suddenly feel confident enough to go back and unearth them.

Rule #3 of How to Stop Missing Someone is: It’s not this; it’s EVERYTHING.

I had to learn the hard way that there was only so much fleeing and how many bones I could bury before it all caught up to me. I spent all my time swinging crazily from drama to drama and one toxic relationship to another, never dealing with any of my anguish, loss, or problems. I was unable. It was too painful, and doing it alone was the only thing I was sure I was incapable of accomplishing. I so continued hunting for the one who would be my True Love.

To confront my sorrow now that I was “whole,” I wanted him to do all the work for me by making me happy, completing me, etc.

The relationship I mentioned at the beginning of this post—the one I messed up—completely wrecked me emotionally because I kept escaping and never dealt with anything. I was unable to leave home because of my devastation. I didn’t want to take a shower at all. Because it exposed all of these old scars from my background, our breakup was much more terrible than anything else could have been.

Because of my low self-esteem, I believed that my completely unglued emotional state was more a sign that my ex was irreplaceable than it was a sign of my avoidance and lack of self-love. I was also too emotionally triggered from being dumped to deal with all of the bones that had been discovered that I had thought were buried.

Be grateful for your suffering. Nothing can mess with you while you’re feeling grateful. Do I still feel depressed about the shift in my life? Is it true that I’m still trying to figure out how to stop missing someone? Yes.

                                        But guess what?

I have also changed. Instead of letting the agony knock me down. The only feeling you’ll ever require to effect lasting change is discomfort.

It would help if you felt uncomfortable enough to desperately want to escape to stop being avoidant once your fear subsided. You don’t have time to acknowledge the fear because you are too painful and overwhelmed by everything. You simply ACT.

Watch your life change as you checkmate your pain.

I’m now incredibly appreciative of everything that has happened because it has given me a fire in my belly that nothing else has been able to. It gave me the urge to grow my clientele and my company. I also decided not to listen to my anxieties for the first time. It encouraged me. Am I still frightened? Yes, but now there’s a difference: I still do it.

It can be challenging, but it’s not impossible to figure out how to stop missing someone. The absence of someone is not a problem. It’s both human and typical.

Yes, it will still hurt if you follow these three guidelines, but I promise that eventually, the tunnel you were convinced had no end will start to light up.

I’m right here with my flashlight until you reach the tunnel’s end.